Sunday, June 4, 2023

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    How to Build Self Esteem as a Man

    Having low self-esteem or confidence is nothing strange to most people. Every now and then, we go through ups and downs in our lives, when we might be feeling worthless. The worse you feel about yourself and your doings, the less motivation you will have to build upon your self-esteem and essentially feel better. Once you start being in a negative state of low self-worth, it is very easy to spiral down into that feeling, henceforth damaging your beliefs.

                When our self-esteem is high and we feel good about ourselves, our brain is also more resilient. Studies show that whenever our self-esteem is high, the experience of rejection or failure is less painful. Therefore, making the ability to bounce back from it much faster. Brain scan studies also show that having high self-esteem makes us less vulnerable to anxiety.

                The biggest problem with our self-esteem is that it fluctuates every now and then. Furthermore, our self-esteem consists of both; global feelings about ourselves, as well as global feelings about ourselves in the specific domains of our lives, i.e. our jobs, or professions. Whenever we are feeling worse about a specific domain of our life, it has a tolling effect on our global feelings about ourselves.

                Confidence is another thing that not everyone is born with. A lot of people really struggle with being confident within themselves. The failure to gain confidence leads to people not trying new things in life and living in their comfort zones.

                It is a good thing to have high self-confidence, but there is a fine line between high self-confidence and egoism. Such people tend to be extremely vulnerable to any sort of criticism, harming their psychological self-growth as a result.

    20 Ways to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

    1) Recognizing and embracing your positive characteristics.

    2) Avoid trying to be perfect.

    3) Look at everything you have achieved.

    4) Focus on being unique and your own person.

    5) Lend a helping hand to others.

    6) Avoid people that bring toxicity into your life.

    7) Face your fears and learn from your failures.

    8) Set short goals which can be achieved.

    9) Be thankful for your possessions.

    10) Smile whenever you look in the mirror.

    11) Share your feelings with loved ones.

    12) Find something you love to do as a hobby.

    13) Accept compliments you get and take them on board.

    14) Give yourself a pep-talk whenever feeling down.

    15) Treat the negative thoughts like just thoughts that come and go.

    16) Reward yourself whenever you achieve success at something.

    17) Believe in yourself and in your worth.

    18) Get some physical exercise.

    19) Stop worrying about what others think.

    20) Dress nicely and care about your physical and mental health.

                 The steps above will slowly but surely help in gaining self-esteem that gives you the confidence to step out and try new things in life. Having confidence enables you to live your life to the fullest without having any regrets. Acknowledging and embracing your characteristics helps you in realizing all the things you are good at and focus on the things that shape your personality as a human. Perfectionism is harmful to us as not everything in life is perfect and not everything goes as planned. Instead of trying to perfect something, ensure you give your 100%. Everyone surrounding us is different and unique in their own fashion. Focus on yourself and take good care of your well-being. With all these things listed above, you will find that you are living a much healthier and happier life. Whenever you feel yourself giving a criticizing monologue, ask yourself what would you say to your close friend if they were in your situation. It is because we tend to be more compassionate towards people we care about. Directing those comments to your own self, will avoid you from damaging your self-esteem even more and will help build it up instead.

                The best way to start accepting and loving yourself for who you are is to learn to accept compliments. Make sure to train yourself to accept compliments when you receive them even if it makes you uncomfortable. To start doing this, prepare a set of responses for whenever someone compliments you. Train yourself to use them automatically after receiving a compliment like, “how kind of you” or “thank you”. Another thing that you can do to affirm your real worth is to revive your self-esteem after it has been punched in the head. This can be done by making a list of the qualities that make you special or different in the specific context. For example, if you have been rejected by a girl or boy, write a list of qualities that would make you a great partner. If you have been rejected from an internship opportunity, make a list of qualities that would make you a great employee. This exercise should be done whenever your self-esteem needs a boost.

                As I have said above, not everything in life goes as planned. There will always be some things that we cannot change. We just have to accept them for what they are and make the best out of it. Life is about living it to its fullest. We must keep our heads high through tough situations and face them head-on. A famous quote by Eckhart Tolle –“Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality, it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness”. This quote carries a deep meaning. Accepting a difficult situation for what it is, gives us the power of moving forward and put it in the past. It is the power of being in a new and positive state of mind where we live in peace, being aware of one’s surroundings. Acceptance allows us to move on and take on new challenges in life.

                On the bright side of the spectrum, there are also things that can be fixed, all we have to do is find the root of the problem. From there on forwards, we can find the solution. It will allow us to take action on what is necessary. We should also acknowledge our parents or loved ones and take their suggestions as they know what is best for us. With optimism and courage, we can fix any situation that might be difficult to face.

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